I just feel very unlucky. The thing that I have a very strong memory of is this child's face in amazing detail. We saw the consultant, who was reassuring, saying that he would rescan me and was sure everything would be fine. As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. We scattered his ashes over a bunch of snowdrops. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. I managed to tell my mum, who said she would come with us to the hospital. And I remember, the first thing I remember when something might be wrong, was I saw, I finally, we finally saw an image of the skull on the screen, and there appeared to be a sort of black hole shape in the middle. Later, I did see and hold our baby. And then I can't remember an awful lot more about that scan apart from that feeling of searching of how to react in an unknown situation - your brain's kind of trying to work out what to say, what to do, but I had no idea what to say or what to do and I think my first thought was, does that mean our first daughter's okay? We'll make an appointment with the senior sonographer, the consultant at the local hospital, and she'll do your scan and she'll be able to tell you more things'. And, so they sent me home at that stage because they said the specialist wasn't available till the following day, which was awful. I know it is still early days. Despite this new discovery, the sonographer was still concerned. I went home feeling crushed; Sam and I both felt helpless. I had to be rescanned latter. Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. And, faced with feeling sorry for myself or feeling sorry for my child, I know which I'd choose. I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests, Ending the pregnancy for family & personal reasons, Deciding whether to see, hold and name the baby, Photographs and other mementoes of the baby, Saying goodbye to the baby - services & funerals, Coping with bereavement - women's experiences, Coping with bereavement - men's experiences, Men's ideas about their role in ending a pregnancy. What happens at the second midwife appointment? We had so much power, we could decide that this little thing should die. DS had 2 soft markers: talipes (club foot) and 'echogenic locii' somewhere - heart I think. By this time, we were tired. I have horrible thoughts. And at the end of the day however much we talked about it - that it was going to be the two of us to make the decision and me to actually you know, go through it and decide that that was what was going to happen for him - and I just, I didn't want to do it. Surely he couldn't have missed anything else that is so serious x. He looked excited. Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. I feel empty and incomplete. The clinic advised a follow up scan the week after, to check on progress and to see what to do next. . We spent the next few weeks in a happy bubble. She asked me how far gone I thought we were, and if I could have been mistaken. Any delay in receiving more information about the abnormality and its implications will be distressing for women and this should be acknowledged. There was cause for concern. I couldn't bring myself to push. On January 18, my baby was born, at 23 weeks - a little boy. I can't remember the exact words but she said, 'There might be some fatal problems with your baby'. These were said to be soft markers fo a range of trisomies, 2 of which were incompatible with life. Can you describe the difference between the scan at this later stage in a pregnancy? For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. At which point they turned round and said, 'Well, there is something very seriously wrong with the baby, we don't know exactly what, but you do need to have a more in-depth scan at your regional hospital to find out the detail'. Instead, we were shown to a room slightly away from the rest of the ward and the midwife stayed with us to talk through what was going to happen. I remember thinking, 'that doesn't look quite right'. Within it are a number of recommendations for the communication of findings from ultrasounds. He was sure the consultant on Monday would see that the measurements were completely normal and that there was nothing to worry about. A black and white picture of your baby will then be seen on the ultrasound screen. Limitations of the 18-20 week scan Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and . In most cases the scan will show that your baby appears to be developing as expected but sometimes a condition is found or suspected. I couldn't really believe what they were saying. The baby kicked, blissfully unaware of what I had done. Our baby was beautiful. At first the closeness came through a sense of guilt. She advised I be referred to the EPU to be assessed. She brought up a picture of the heart on the screen. She wanted to have a look at the skull, which was the main thing, but she couldn't see it from where the baby was. And it was then because we were at 20 weeks by this point, there was only fairly short window to actually, to get some more tests done, find out what the problems were, and then make any decisions that might have to be made. Though the 18-20 week scan can detect when certain parts of the baby's body have grown abnormally, it may not be possible for clinicians to identify why it has happened or make a firm diagnosis based on the scan alone. Thick milky discharge at 14 weeks.tmi pic attached. I pray it's just her heart but I can't see anything else is wrong as I have been scanned by a consultant since I was 14 weeks and every time he has said everything looks okay and she is growing consistently. All my instincts were to protect my belly, yet here I was allowing someone to stick a huge needle into it. We're still not at the end of our journey, but we're much further along. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. While some parents understood the clinician's restraint - even when they had to wait an hour or more for a definite diagnosis - others disliked being kept in suspense and wanted to be told what the clinician was thinking. We talked all night and thanked God for crap television. I know I could have delivered him in a quarter of the time, but I couldn't bear the thought of him leaving me. This publication is available at https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/screening-tests-for-you-and-your-baby/11-physical-conditions-20-week-scan. And nothing prepares you at all. And, sometimes, I wish I had invited my whole family into the hospital room to see him. Nights were impossible. It's quite common, perhaps 1 in 10 they find these, and within a few weeks they disappear. And my husband, we never got to sit next to each other in the consulting room, my husband was across the room from me, and I was sat next to the consultant, and we were laughing and joking with him about, you know, the home delivery, and everything was going to be, 'Are you still on for the home delivery?' Baby loss stories Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. Tissue paper will be tucked around your clothing to protect it from the ultrasound gel, which will then be put on your tummy. Have I misunderstood what's going on?' And I'd been on the internet looking up all sorts of things and everything was so negative, it was very depressing, because I thought, 'Well, maybe they've made a mistake, or maybe it's something they can fix, I don't know'. Although the anomaly scan is often called a 20-week scan, you may have it any time between 18 and 22 weeks, although it's usually done between 18 and 20 weeks. The sonographer then passes a hand-held probe over your skin to examine the babys body. There's nothing wrong, you know, we've had all the tests, everything's fine,' and being very upbeat about it all. Thanks girls, it's amazing how protected our babies are in there isn't it?! You will then be asked to raise your top to your chest and lower your skirt or trousers to your hips. The weeks since that day have been very weird. All pregnant women should be given the booklet by their midwife or GP Screening tests for you and your baby by Public Health England, which gives detailed information about the types of scan offered and what they are looking for. It was just a few little things like the kidneys were hard to find, and the stomach was hard to find, but that might be because it wasn't filled with fluid. x. You've had a scan, you've had the blood tests, you've been good. So at least then we went to that next stage prepared for the worst really. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Impact of the 20-week and later specialist scans Originally I hadn't wanted to go down that road. I would be put to sleep, and when I woke up I wouldn't be pregnant any more. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. Soon, the doctor came and inserted the tablets that would induce labour. We understand the real meaning of "shit happens". But it is a soft marker for Edwards' syndrome. (See. She didn't want to see the baby. It doesn't remove the guilt, but I don't know what else to do. It can be such a shock so do whatever you need to feel better. 2022. 26/09/2019 22:46. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan . Wed like to set additional cookies to understand how you use GOV.UK, remember your settings and improve government services. For example, some babies have a condition called open spina bifida, which affects the spinal cord. It was sick. You might be offered another test to find out for certain if your baby has one of the conditions. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. And I can just remember flashing a look at you as if to say, 'Have I made a mistake here somewhere? Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. Being generous and kind generally happens only when you're happy. During the examination, sonographers need to keep the screen in a position that gives them a good view of your baby. That's fine. For women who have been given distressing news about their baby during the scan, there should be a health professional available to provide immediate support. And so began the most bizarre day of my life. He's now had the all clear and is wriggling round on . I am a darker, harder version of myself. I just want to be normal again. And I could see, before she even said anything I could see that there was something wrong with the heart. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible. By my own hand, I had to end the pregnancy. He had to come to the decision by himself. So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. And so, yeah we got to, carried on with the pregnancy, kept seeing the consultant, kept sitting in the waiting room outside, because there was a terribly long waiting time sometimes, depending on what time you had the appointment. In some cases concerns in utero fix themselves sometimes needs treatment. The doctor told me he was 98% sure this was a failing twin pregnancy. So he was about two weeks smaller than what he should have been. And again, you know, you read all the books and it tells you 'this is the diagnostics', but after a while you don't hear that inside your head any more No, no, no, I'm fine - because everything's perfect. After she had taken all the measurements, the sonographer told us that she was concerned with the length of the baby's limbs in relation to the head. All the hopes, dreams, and plans we made with our little bumps has been taken away from us. Seeing your baby on a screen can be really exciting. I endured 12 hours of medication and in the early hours February 7, 56 days after my first scan (at nearly 18 weeks), I miscarried our babies. And it turned out the baby's heart wasn't forming properly, the chambers weren't forming properly. My wife turned the screen away from her. I didn't have a clue. So when that happened to us I really didn't worry, I thought, you know, it was literally the baby was in awkward position, they couldn't see the heart and that was why. The consultant showed us the letter with our result on and, yes, there were the words "Down's syndrome". I was disgusted - disgusted that such a tablet existed, let alone that I should have to take it. The same sense of expectation. It's, I mean you can't tell from these scans what you're looking at really, but I remember thinking, 'it just doesn't look quite right' or something, but I didn't give it much thought. The sonographer told me to take the notes, and the scan photos with me so they could review them also. I couldn't bear to see the baby and asked the midwife to take him away immediately. I didn't want to go through anymore scans. He felt doing more blood tests would only cause me more discomfort and false hope. And I wish that I'd been told at that point, that somebody had actually turned round to me and said, 'Look, I'm sorry, but I think there's something very wrong. Everywhere you look, there are happy, fat, smug pregnant women. Eventually she got the measurements she wanted. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. Why me and not you, you bastard? But before he could speak, he, too, had broken down. This does not mean there is anything to worry about. My partner really wanted me to, and by that time I had no sense of what was right or what I should do. There is always a chance that a baby may be born with a health issue that scans could not have identified. My heart goes out to you OP. Except for the persistent, nagging doubts. Went off for the 20-week scan, which you didn't, you weren't there, were you, for the first scan? Finally, Monday came and we went back to the hospital. But worse was to come. The doctor gave her consent, and I took the four little tablets. I was told they needed to do a blood test to get a bench mark of my hormone levels. And I felt like a murderer. So we gave up and said we'd arrange the funeral ourselves. Smiling at myself and picturing me and Sam becoming parents. This short video explains screening for 11 physical conditions in pregnancy. After the triple test you stop thinking, you stop thinking that anything can go wrong. I felt I needed proof of what was wrong before I take such a huge decision and that I couldn't do it based on what someone had written on, on the paper. Seated in the antenatal clinic with lots of expectant mothers with baby bumps. I came back probably about 17 weeks pregnant and had the anomaly scan at 20 weeks and like most people expected everything to be fine and to come away with a lovely picture but unfortunately that isn't what happened. Never lacking a sense of the dramatic, it felt as if we shared the responsibility for the terrible, dirty act that we had committed. A company limited by guarantee registered in England and Wales company number 3266897. Others, including those who had been given leaflets to read about the scan beforehand as well as some who were health professionals, said that they had been nave about the 20-week scan. But here I was, minutes later, lying down, waiting. I didn't want to be convincing him to agree with me. I give pregnant women dirty looks. My mum arrived early to look after our son, and my partner and I got a cab to the hospital. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. But the consultant had found more spots on the heart and the measurements were the same. We had the 20 week scan yesterday and got some devastating news. I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. . factor is very strong. We didn't feel we could tell anyone what was happening. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). When I see a child with Down's syndrome, I have a tremendous need to explain myself and apologise a million times over. Emma was 20 weeks' pregnant when a routine scan revealed that the baby she was expecting had Down's syndrome and heart problems. It was a bit worrying but on the plus side I got an extra couple of scans and an extra couple of pictures. It took 20 minutes to push him out. Good luck has not come easily over the past few years. In some very serious rare cases, where no treatment is possible, the baby will die soon after it is born or during pregnancy. We walked all the way home. You have rejected additional cookies. I get terribly irritated by my close friends and family. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. Many people were deeply affected by their experiences of the 20-week and subsequent specialist scans. Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. The pain was bearable but uncomfortable, the hospital rang me a few days later and asked me how I was. I still feel guilty, I still cry at random times. I thought surely everything is ok, as they couldn't detect twins the week before. So I was, they couldn't actually finish the scan then, the baby was moving around too much, so they couldn't scan the heart and the stomach. By this point I had stopped bleeding, this caused problems. A long process of blood tests, scans, doctors and hospitals. The rarest scenario is that the baby is severely ill and choices will need to be made. Thinking back, I don't know how we left without him. Somehow, I walked from the sofa up to the bathroom and told my partner. Spina bifida can usually be seen clearly on a scan and of those babies who have this condition, around 9 out of 10 (90%) will be detected. She endured many agonising rounds of scans and tests, and unfortunately met with some unhelpful attitudes from some healthcare professionals. And so we had to go out a couple of times, [wife] had to walk around, and she had a drink of water, which is supposed to sort of change things inside, or help the baby turn around or something because the sonographer couldn't get the measurements she wanted. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. We were told to go to the hospital immediately. Some stories I hear are amazing! I can feel my child kick, it responds when he shouts at football - I mean literally, this baby used to dance around whenever he'd like scream at a goal - and there cannot be anything wrong with this child because it's part of us already. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. Has anyone been told the wrong sex at 20 week scan? Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. It felt so wrong. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommys and are not advice from Tommy's. I wrote a few things down last night when we were trying to go over things, just to remind myself. My wife had been very, very healthy, more healthy than the first pregnancy, and of course was shattered by the fact that the news, the news was appalling, very serious faces. Or, at the very least, heart problems. With my oldest it turns out she has a minor thing that affects 1 in 1000 of the population and wont harm her at all it's just "there" and with my second the issue turned out to be nothing. Never being able to look after himself. And then, so I went to my next scan, which was the 20-week abnormality scan, and we took our first child with us, I think he was 17 months old at the time. It's a bit at the back of the brain and - no I can't remember what it is - it's called, it's something that's called Dandy-Walker mal, The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) have produced a report on Termination of Pregnancy for Fetal Abnormality in England, Scotland and Wales (May 2010). And everybody knows and everything is right. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier diagnostic tests (e.g. We felt as if we were in limbo. I was then told yet again bad news. The termination would be averting a tragedy. The scan will find about half (50%) of those babies who have heart defects. So on the Monday we went in to see the senior sonographer, I think she was a consultant at the hospital. And my partner and I would have a completely different life from the one we'd imagined. You may like someone to come with you to the scan appointment. That they could have spotted something, or not? Just that really! We must have had one before that as well, we must have had one before that, but it came back quite normal. For example, you may be offered further tests that have a risk of miscarriage. At the time the same thing had, exactly the same thing had happened to my friend a month before, and her scan was absolutely fine. I felt sad, but not the complete devastation of the last scan as they had seen a change of some sort. And they actually asked my husband to come in before they spoke to me. Had 34wk scan last week and all is well - of all the babies found to have a two vessel cord, was told less than 6% experience any growth issues etc. And in this instance the scan was very evident that there was something very seriously wrong. When I told him what had happened, he refused to believe anything was wrong and said he'd sort it out when he came home.